We want to share a list of the books that we have come across, so far, in researching open adoption. Some are fun reads, while others are informative.
The Kid: what happened after my boyfriend and I decided to go get pregnant by Dan Savage
An amazing, funny, and insightful story of Dan Savage and his partner Terry Miller's decision to have a baby. It's a great read for people considering adoption, or for gay families who want to give their straight relatives an inside perspective of the struggle gay families have just to become families. Dan does a great job of making hard points in a very non-threatening, approachable way. A story about confronting homophobia, falling in love, getting older, and getting a little bit smarter, The Kid is a book about the very human desire to have a family.
Between Mom and Jo by Julie Anne Peters (Young Adult section)
A story told in flashbacks by Nick, 14, revealing what it was like growing up with two moms and watching their relationship fall apart. A story of common life: a normal kid growing up with excitements and hardships of childhood, having two moms, experiencing cancer and alcoholism in the family, and surviving "divorce." A good story of how Nick's emotional struggle to redefine his relationships with his parents will remind readers that a family's love can survive even the most difficult times.
The Open Adoption Experience: a complete guide for adoptive and birth families-from making the decision through the child's growing years by Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia
An informative read on demystifying open adoption and describing with vivid examples all stages of the relationship - from understanding open adoption, moving towards open adoption, birth and placement, how the open adoption relationship grows and changes, and about children in open adoption. The book provides a non-judgemental discussion on the advantages of open adoption as well as common problems.
The Open Adoption Book by Bruce M. Rappaport, Ph.D.
As founder and director of one of the country's leading open adoption agencies, Independent Adoption Center (IAC; who we are highly considering working with), Bruce Rappaport interweaves personal stories and real-life experiences of adopting parents, birthparents, and adopted children while answering the most frequently asked questions. Through facilitating thousands of successful open adoptions, he has acquired an intimate understanding of open adoption and explains how open adoption is the healthiest and most humane method for all parties involved.
Children of Open Adoption by Kathleen Silber and Patricia Martinez Dorner
Two pioneers in the field collaborate on the long-term impact of open adoption. They include letters and case stories to erode the mythology and show the positive impact of eliminating secrecy and shame from adoption. (I haven't finished this book yet, but so far is good)
Other books and magazines I have found, but have not been able to get my hands on yet include:
Dear Birthmother by Kathleen Silber
Making Room in Our Hearts: keeping family ties through open adoption by Micky Duxbury
Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolff
Adoptive Families Magazine
Let us know if you come across another source we should look at. We are excited to read everything we can and are happy to have all of you involved!
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