We are getting anxious waiting...7 1/2 months on the books now. After our unmatch with S, we are picking up our life again and trying to stay positive. With the slowness that the agency is feeling, we are feeling it too.
We seem to have hit a slump in our advertising; we only had 2 letters go out to birthmoms in May and 1 in June. We were matched for two weeks in June, which took us out of the running then.
However, June was a much quieter month all around for our agency with low numbers of birthmom intakes, therefore lower numbers of packets sent out.
We are trying to stay busy...SML is finishing up her last few weeks as a PNA at Duke and will start her last fall semester in August. I'm working and keeping busy with sewing projects, reading, yoga and getting back into running.
We have planned a couple of small trips again. We just spent a night back at a B&B we loved at Sunset beach. The weather was perfect and it was really nice to leave town. We are planning a day trip to Wrightsville beach next week. Keeping with our annual fall tradition and love of wine, we are taking another trip up to VA with my dad and step-mom to visit some new vineyards and repeat at a couple of our beloved vineyards. I'm looking forward to this trip and the coming of fall - the weather needs to cool down.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
An unfortunate turn
Sorry it has been a while, but we have needed some time to ourselves.
We were on the go with preparing for the little girl and building a relationship with S, all around working almost opposite schedules. We were finally able to set a date/time for our match meeting, Tuesday, June 26th at 11:30. We were excited to have a game plan and see S again!
We arrived a little early and met with our adoption counselor, CM, briefly. During our meeting, S and her mom arrived and went to the bathroom. We finished up and went to the conference room to wait while S and her mom had their meeting with CM. When they came out of the bathroom, CM asked if they'd like to say hi to us first and then get the meetings going. With anger in S's mom voice, she said very sharply "no, this is business."
Our hearts dropped immediately and all we could do was stare at each other.
Over the next THREE hours, we felt sick to our stomachs, tried to hear what was being said when voices were raised, browsed facebook to distract us, and tried to rationale what was happening.
In the end, only CM entered the conference room and said with tears in her eyes that there will not be a placement and we were unmatched from S. We both sat in our chairs shocked and let CM talk to us, but most of what we heard was "WAHHH-WAH WAH-WAHWAH-WAH." We cried and started asking questions; all in all, S completely changed her mind (and no one saw it coming) to parent the little girl.
We went home and just hugged each other and cried. SML was going off of a 1.5 hour nap after a night shift, so we ate dinner early, drank a bottle of wine, and went to bed.
We had to tell our family and friends, again, the disappointment and heartache we were going through. Our life that we were very shortly expecting was gone.
We experienced the feelings of lost and decided to move on. We are "on the books" again (our profile is open to birthmothers). We still think about that little girl; she will always have a little place in our hearts. We were just so close to getting our ideal open adoption, but everything happens for a reason. We feel that our baby is currently out there and we are just ready to meet him/her!
We were on the go with preparing for the little girl and building a relationship with S, all around working almost opposite schedules. We were finally able to set a date/time for our match meeting, Tuesday, June 26th at 11:30. We were excited to have a game plan and see S again!
We arrived a little early and met with our adoption counselor, CM, briefly. During our meeting, S and her mom arrived and went to the bathroom. We finished up and went to the conference room to wait while S and her mom had their meeting with CM. When they came out of the bathroom, CM asked if they'd like to say hi to us first and then get the meetings going. With anger in S's mom voice, she said very sharply "no, this is business."
Our hearts dropped immediately and all we could do was stare at each other.
Over the next THREE hours, we felt sick to our stomachs, tried to hear what was being said when voices were raised, browsed facebook to distract us, and tried to rationale what was happening.
In the end, only CM entered the conference room and said with tears in her eyes that there will not be a placement and we were unmatched from S. We both sat in our chairs shocked and let CM talk to us, but most of what we heard was "WAHHH-WAH WAH-WAHWAH-WAH." We cried and started asking questions; all in all, S completely changed her mind (and no one saw it coming) to parent the little girl.
We went home and just hugged each other and cried. SML was going off of a 1.5 hour nap after a night shift, so we ate dinner early, drank a bottle of wine, and went to bed.
We had to tell our family and friends, again, the disappointment and heartache we were going through. Our life that we were very shortly expecting was gone.
We experienced the feelings of lost and decided to move on. We are "on the books" again (our profile is open to birthmothers). We still think about that little girl; she will always have a little place in our hearts. We were just so close to getting our ideal open adoption, but everything happens for a reason. We feel that our baby is currently out there and we are just ready to meet him/her!
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