An unfortunate turn

Sorry it has been a while, but we have needed some time to ourselves. 

We were on the go with preparing for the little girl and building a relationship with S, all around working almost opposite schedules.  We were finally able to set a date/time for our match meeting, Tuesday, June 26th at 11:30.  We were excited to have a game plan and see S again!

We arrived a little early and met with our adoption counselor, CM, briefly.  During our meeting, S and her mom arrived and went to the bathroom.  We finished up and went to the conference room to wait while S and her mom had their meeting with CM.  When they came out of the bathroom, CM asked if they'd like to say hi to us first and then get the meetings going.  With anger in S's mom voice, she said very sharply "no, this is business." 
Our hearts dropped immediately and all we could do was stare at each other.
Over the next THREE hours, we felt sick to our stomachs, tried to hear what was being said when voices were raised, browsed facebook to distract us, and tried to rationale what was happening. 
In the end, only CM entered the conference room and said with tears in her eyes that there will not be a placement and we were unmatched from S.  We both sat in our chairs shocked and let CM talk to us, but most of what we heard was "WAHHH-WAH WAH-WAHWAH-WAH."  We cried and started asking questions; all in all, S completely changed her mind (and no one saw it coming) to parent the little girl.

We went home and just hugged each other and cried.  SML was going off of a 1.5 hour nap after a night shift, so we ate dinner early, drank a bottle of wine, and went to bed. 
We had to tell our family and friends, again, the disappointment and heartache we were going through.  Our life that we were very shortly expecting was gone. 

We experienced the feelings of lost and decided to move on.  We are "on the books" again (our profile is open to birthmothers).  We still think about that little girl; she will always have a little place in our hearts.  We were just so close to getting our ideal open adoption, but everything happens for a reason.  We feel that our baby is currently out there and we are just ready to meet him/her!